When you’re so used to sharing a bed with your feline, it’s only logical that you feel confused once you realize that your sleep buddy has ditched you. “Why did my cat stop sleeping with me? Did I do something wrong?”
One thing is certain: your family members, friends, or romantic partners can hurt and disappoint you, but nothing can compare to the heartbreak caused by your beloved furbaby.
The sadness hits you differently when you wake up in the morning only to find your cat skedaddled sometime during the night without even leaving a note. And then, to your surprise, you find her sleeping on your old shoes in the hallway.
As you’re making her breakfast, you simply have to ask her if your old Converse sneakers are really more comfortable than the comfy queen-size bed in your room. But, as usual, will only get an annoyed “Meow” in return.
This is not a make-believe story, but something I actually went through at the beginning of my cat parenting. And it’s something that took me by surprise and made me a bit sad, to be honest.
I was devastated because I thought my cat and I both enjoyed sharing the bed and cuddling before getting up in the morning. However, that feeling was, apparently, not mutual.
I was sad and confused for a while, but (un)fortunately for my cat, I decided not to leave anything to chance. I did my research and talked to many feline experts, so I could determine the reason why did my cat stop sleeping with me.
I’ve learned a lot and even managed to lure my fluffball back to bed eventually. And now, I’m more than ready to share my knowledge with you. So, buckle up and make sure you don’t sleep on any bit of information you’re about to read.
Why did my cat stop sleeping with me?
Sometimes I wonder if there is a parallel universe where cats talk about all the weird behaviors of their humans. Because as much as we get perplexed by their peculiar behavior, we humans can also be strange sometimes.
What do I mean by this? Well, there are people in this world who dislike it when their cat sleeps with them. And then there’s you (and me) who wonder why did our cats stop sleeping with us, looking for ways to bring her back to bed.
Just as not every human is the same, not every cat is either. And that’s purrfectly fine. Some people might enjoy the company of the cat while sleeping, while others might not. And some cats will gladly sleep with their owners, while other cats will seek a sleeping nest somewhere else.
However, if your cat used to sleep with you but for whatever reason stopped, there’s a way to change her mind and bring her back. But before taking any measures, you have to determine why did she decide to abandon your bed. And here are 7 possible reasons.
1. You’re fidgeting too much
The first and most obvious one – you’re fidgeting too much. Your cat is probably not the biggest fan of sudden arms in her face or unexpected temblors while she sleeps. And this is more than understandable. Who would want to sleep with a kicker who is 10 times bigger than her? I certainly would not!
If you know you’re a restless sleeper, then that’s the reason why your cat doesn’t want to sleep with you. Cats are highly sensitive creatures and can get easily startled by a variety of things. Also, they are light sleepers and your turning to the other side can easily wake them up.
But, if you’re not sure of the way you sleep at night, you can consider installing a camera that will help you determine whether you are a peaceful or restless sleeper. It will also help you keep an eye on your kitty.
However, if a video camera is a bit too much for you, there are many sleep-tracking apps you can download in order to keep track of your sleeping patterns.
2. Your bed is too low
We should all know by now that cats love high places. Not only does it bring them safety from potential enemies, but it also helps them survey the area properly and keep an eye on everyone and everything.
This is the characteristic our indoor babies share with their wild relatives. Leopards, for example, are expert tree climbers; they store their prey in trees and sleep curled up on three branches. And both tigers and lions are good at tree climbing, although they spend the majority of their time on the ground.
So, this might be the reason why your cat abandoned her usual sleeping spot. Perhaps your bed is too low to the ground. Or maybe you’re one of those people who don’t have a bed frame but rather prefer to have just the mattress on the floor. If either of these is the case, your cat will probably not support your preferences.
3. Your cat doesn’t like the temperature of your bed
Hey, maybe sticking one leg out of the covers in order to achieve a perfect temperature works for you, but that hack doesn’t work for your cat.
We sometimes forget that our furbabies don’t perceive the temperature as we do. I’m regularly reminded of this every time I cover my cat with a blanket, after which she moves to the other spot, far away from me. I have to tell myself, “Just because I’m cold, doesn’t mean my cat is as well.”
So, maybe the reason for your cat not sleeping with you hides in the fact that the temperature of the bed and your bedroom doesn’t work for her. Additionally, your body temperature might be like adding wood to the fire for your kitty.
That’s why she seeks a comfortable spot elsewhere. Like your bathtub, for example.
“Why did my cat stop sleeping with me? Sharing is caring, right? Is my kitty familiar with the saying?” Well, let’s just say that this is not her life motto.
This is most significant for people who have more than one cat. Like I do! After the initial sleeping problem my first cat and I got through, we slept together undisturbed for quite some time. But when I adopted my other two cats, none of them really wanted to share the bed with each other.
Or they didn’t want to share me? Anyway, the 4 of us decided that it would be best if we each had our own bed to sleep on.
So, if you have more than one cat, or any other pet for that matter that likes to sleep on the bed as well, your cat might hate to share the sleeping spot with them. And therefore, she’ll look for an alternative.
5. Something upset your cat
Well, I’m sorry to admit it, but yes, something you did might have upset your kitty.
This one can be tied to the first reason. If you’re a restless sleeper, maybe you scared your kitty with your sudden movements. Or maybe she got scared by your snoring.
Whenever something bad happens to your feline, she usually associates the feeling she felt with the situation she went through. It could be that she’s associating your bed and sleeping in it with a bad memory of you unintentionally startling her.
Also, your cat could be upset because you have changed something in your bedroom. Maybe you redecorated your room, or you have someone else sleeping with you. There are millions of things you could have done that your cat probably disapproves of.
6. Your cat found a better spot
You’ve probably been in a situation where you were lying on the bed in a hotel room, for example, fondly reminiscing about your comfortable bed back home and impatiently waiting to return to it again. Sorry to burst your bubble, but your cat might not share the same enthusiasm.
Don’t take it too personally, but maybe she doesn’t actually like your bed as much as you do. You might adore it, but your cat could have a better sleeping spot somewhere in the house.
Cats are weird, that’s for sure! You can get her as many fancy beds as there are on the market, but she will still choose some random place to sleep in, like her litter box, for example.
7. Your cat stopped sleeping with you because of her age or health issues
“Why did my cat stop sleeping with me? Is something wrong with her?”
I’m guessing this was your first thought when you noticed your cat stopped sleeping with you. Although it’s not that common, it still has to be addressed. Yes, your cat could be avoiding sharing a bed with you because of some medical issues.
When cats are sick or do not feel well, they tend to avoid the company of their human friends. If you think your cat could have some health issues, consider taking her to the vet. And if you’re already aware of your cat’s condition, just give her the space and privacy she needs.
Another reason why your cat might not be sleeping with you is because of her age. Kittens usually love to sleep next to their owners since they remind them of their mothers. But as they grow older, they can become more independent and wish to sleep alone.
However, if your cat used to sleep with you but then stopped, it might be because she got old. Senior cats have a hard time jumping and climbing and reaching the bed is a real struggle for them. One they’ll rather avoid.
So, if you’re a parent of a senior cat, now you know what’s possibly going on.
How to make your cat sleep with you?
One of the best perks of being a cat parent is the opportunity to sleep with your kitty. Not only do you get to cuddle all night long with a living plushy, but you also get to receive some health benefits as well.
A cat’s purr has between 20 to 30 vibrations per second. These constant vibrations help reduce stress and lower blood pressure. It’s said that purr frequencies correspond to electric frequencies used to treat many conditions. This includes fractures, swelling, muscle strain, difficulty in breathing, and many others.
So, it’s no wonder you wish for your kitty to sleep with you again. Who wouldn’t want to be healthy and under constant surveillance of the best medical purrctitioner?
But, in order to lure your cat back to your bed, you’ll have to beat her at her own game. No cat likes to be forced into doing anything, and sleeping next to you is no exception. For your fluffball to be sound asleep in your bed, you’ll have to learn to play by her rules.
Here are 7 things you can do that will most definitely work!
1. Spend some time during the day with your cat
If you ignore your cat during the day, you cannot expect her to come to you at night. You’ll have to invest your time and energy and play with her, so she could potentially reward you with her presence at bedtime.
By playing with her during the day, you’re ensuring three main things. First, she’s using up large amounts of energy she has. Second, she’s tired enough so she can peacefully sleep all night, and third, the bond between you two is strengthened and nurtured regularly.
2. Bring your cat to your bed
After playing with her, your cat will probably want to cuddle with you as well. But instead of cuddling with her in the living room in front of the TV, you can bring your cat to your bedroom. Gentle petting will lull her to sleep in no time.
Also, if your cat is a senior, bringing her to your bed can make her little furry life much easier since, as we said, older cats struggle with jumping and climbing.
3. Make sure the room is stress-free
Your fluffball has to feel safe and secure while she sleeps. If your bed and bedroom don’t provide her with those feelings, she might search for them somewhere else.
Check if there’s anything in your room that might scare your kitty. If there were sudden changes like a new bed or any other furniture, make sure to slowly introduce them to your cat. You can bring something that carries her scent, like a blanket, so your cat can be familiar with at least something in your room.
It’s important to be patient with your kitty. Do everything at her pace and don’t rush anything. If you force her to sleep somewhere she doesn’t want to, you’re only adding up to her stressful experience and prolonging the assimilation process.
4. Bring her favorite toy to the bed
If your kitty has a favorite toy, bring it to bed. That way, she can associate your bed with something fun. The toy will encourage her to come to the bed, play with it for a while, and eventually stay and fall asleep.
This hack doesn’t have to include only her favorite toy. You can try with her favorite blanket or pillow, or pretty much anything she really really likes.
You can even make sure to bring her favorite snack to bed. That way, you can “bribe” her to stay and come back every following night. Just make sure you don’t overdo it with snacks and only bring solid food since I’m sure you don’t want to deal with any mess in the morning.
5. Install cat stairs or cat ramps next to your bed
As previously mentioned, older cats find beds too high and unreachable.
If you’re a proud parent of a senior cat, and you want her to sleep next to you like in the good old days, you should consider installing cat stairs or cat ramps next to your bed. That way, your oldie will be able to easily climb up to your bed or get down from it whenever she desires.
6. Wash your sheets
Don’t worry! I know you’re washing your sheets regularly, but maybe your cat will appreciate it if you could wash them more often.
Or, maybe the problem doesn’t lie in the frequency of washing, but rather in the type of laundry detergent you’re using. There are some scents that cats just don’t prefer because they’re too harsh and perfumy.
Consider switching your laundry detergent and opt for something more sensitive and less heavily scented.