At first, you found it adorable how close your cat and your new partner have become. It might even have made you fall in love with him more. But over time, you’ve noticed that your fluff chooses him over you whenever he’s around. Now you’re sitting there, wondering, “Why does my cat like my boyfriend more than me?!”
First off, let’s make one thing clear – no, it doesn’t make you a bad cat parent. You’re probably giving your feline more than enough love and attention and she’s living like the queen she is. Yet, it still seems like she likes your boyfriend more than you. Weirdly, it kind of makes you jealous, doesn’t it?
Think about it this way. Would you rather see them like each other or share your life with someone your cat hates? Or even worse – someone who hates your beloved furbaby?! Your boyfriend and her sharing a special bond is a wonderful sight to see, and it’s probably a good sign, too.
That said, we know how hard it can be thinking your cat replaced you. There have been some studies dealing with cat behavior and whether or not our feline friends can have favorite people. Before we dive into the reasons your cat might like your boyfriend more than you, first, let’s see if your way of thinking is justified.
Do cats have favorite people?
A lot of people opt for dogs as pets because they’re known as “man’s best friend.” On the other hand, cats have gained a reputation as pets that only stay with us because we feed them. But, is that really the case? Every cat parent would disagree, and we’re happy to tell you that they’re right.
Even though cats aren’t the type to follow us around or get super excited when they see us, they bond just as strongly as dogs or infants do. Because of that, they can have their favorite people, too – at least, so it seems.
“Well, I know my cat has a favorite human and it’s not me. I just don’t understand it. Why does my cat like my boyfriend more than me?!” I guess these are your thoughts right now.
Well, cats love interacting with people through playtime or food. As a result, our feline friends adjust their behavior and affection according to the time we spend playing with or feeding them.
In some instances, cats can even learn the names of their favorite people and react when hearing them! We’re not saying it should be a competition, but if you’d like your cat to go back to liking you more, try spending more time with her.
Why does my cat like my boyfriend more than me? 5 actual reasons
Yes, cats can have favorite people. If she’s been spending more time with your boyfriend than you, then there could be a possibility they created a beautiful bond. Although that doesn’t seem bad at all, we see why it could be an issue for you.
We’ve listed five possible reasons that could’ve made your cat want to spend more time with your boyfriend. Again, it’s not a bad thing! But you could use these things to help you understand her behavior and maybe you’ll feel better about it, too.
1. Cats are control freaks
Whether you’d like to admit it or not, your feline is the dominant one in your relationship. She’s the queen of the household and loves every moment of it. Your cat will do what she pleases and there’s nothing you can do about it.
Because of that, it’s important to ask yourself if you’re letting your cat express her dominant side. Think about the dynamic of your relationship. Do you seek out affection from your cat, or do you let her decide the right time to give you some love and attention?
Cats are massive control freaks. If your boyfriend gives her the space and time to express her affection when SHE wants it, that’s probably why she might be spending more time with him. It’s always funny seeing cats rub their faces over people who are not huge fans of them, but that’s exactly why they’re doing it.
2. He’s the food-giver
As we’ve mentioned earlier, cats bond over food. We all know how much our furbabies adore eating, so it’s no surprise that their love comes through their stomach. Because of that, it’s important to keep a healthy diet, and you might be the one who strongly follows the rules.
If you’re a strict cat parent who only wants your fluff to be healthy, you perhaps have a feeding schedule for your feline. Your boyfriend, on the other hand, doesn’t follow your cat-feeding rules and sneaks in a snack here and there. These little treats could easily make your feline fall in love with him even more.
And if you just started living with your partner and he’s become the one to feed your cat, that could be another reason she spends so much time with him. He’s the food-giver in the house now, so naturally, your cat has grown fond of him. In the feline world, it’s food over anyone.
3. He gives her more affection (when she wants it)
“Why does my cat like my boyfriend more than me? I even let her sleep in my bed?”
When it comes to our purrinces and purrincesses, they’re the ones in charge. Whether it’s food, affection, or sleeping, it’s up to your cat to let you know when it’s time for each. Being a feline parent means you’ve decided that you wanted to live with a little fluff boss for the rest of her life (and we love it).
If your boyfriend is the one who gives her attention on HER terms, she might start going to him for cuddles more and more often. It’s the irony of it all – the colder he seems around your cat, the more affection he’ll end up giving her.
Your feline might even give you the cold shoulder or a few dirty looks from your boyfriend’s lap. Don’t take it personally. Our fluffy friends rarely do anything out of spite and in no time, she’ll be in your lap, too. You just have to stop showering her with so much love – that is, until she asks for it.
4. Your boyfriend’s just warmer
It’s not all as bad as it seems. Sometimes, your cat seems to like your boyfriend merely because his body is warmer. Yes, it could be that simple and harmless.
Cats are beings of coziness and comfort. They love anything that’s warm and they’ll use every opportunity at paw to cuddle next to or on top of it. If your boyfriend’s body is naturally warmer than yours, that could be why your cat goes to him for snuggles.
Don’t feel bad about it – you can’t change your body temperature. It’s much better knowing she’s choosing him over you simply because she likes warmth. After all, don’t we all? Use that opportunity to cuddle up next to them, throw a blanket, and spend some sweet bonding time with your two favorites.
5. She bonded with him first
If you and your boyfriend just adopted a cat, congrats on becoming kitty parents! It’s a wonderful ride, even if the road might seem a bit bumpy now. If your feline’s showing more affection towards your partner, it shouldn’t worry you too much. She still loves her momma, too.
Sometimes, cats simply have favorites, and it doesn’t necessarily mean you did something wrong. Just like humans, it’s often the case that female cats naturally prefer men. There’s not much you can do about it, but accept that your kitty might be a daddy’s girl.
If your cat chooses your boyfriend over you, don’t beat yourself up over it. Rather, learn to love the fact that they’ve created such a beautiful bond. Our pets feel the energy of the people around them, and it might be a good sign that you chose the right person for yourself.
3 adorable signs your boyfriend has your cat’s heart
Every feline parent wants to be their fluff’s favorite. But no matter how hard we try, cats will always be cats – and we’re just living in the world they rule.
It’s hard seeing your feline bestie devote all her love and attention to somebody else, but you have to accept it. It’s the first step in getting her love back. If your cat has a favorite, here are some things you might notice.
1. Her eyes flicker
Although they’re not really known as pets that shower you with love and affection, cats have their own little ways of showing you they appreciate you. These things can be subtle – sometimes, all it takes is a small flicker of her eyes.
Next time your furriend is around your partner, pay attention to the way she looks at him. When cats are around people they adore, they enjoy exchanging slow blinks with them. It’s their way of expressing love and it’s a wonderful thing to see.
If you’d like to let your cat know that she’s loved too, don’t hesitate to give her a slow blink yourself. It’s a small gesture that means a lot. If your feline does it for you, it means she has let her guard down and trusts you completely. Give her a small blink as a way to tell her you love her too.
2. She purrs and twitches her tail when she’s around him
Cats purr for a lot of reasons and their purrs can mean different things. However, it is believed that they are the first things kittens do around their mothers as a form of communication and a way to bond.
As cat parents, we take over the role of their mothers, but their way of expressing love stays the same. If your cat purrs when she’s around your boyfriend, it’s a good indicator that she feels safe and loved by him. She’s trying to let him know she loves him too.
If you’re ever unsure of what your cat is feeling, take a look at her tail. It’s very expressive and our kitties usually show affection through it. If your furbaby’s tail has a curved tip when she’s around your boyfriend, she’s giving him a friendly greeting and inviting him to interact with her freely.
Once your cat is all in her feelings and ready to be showered with attention, she’ll wrap her tail around your boyfriend’s hands, arms, ankles, or any other part of his body. It’s the top form of cat love and only a lucky few will experience this kind of gushy expression.
3. She licks and head-bumps him
If your cat comes to your boyfriend and nudges her head against him, don’t misunderstand it as her being playful. It’s one of the strongest forms of affection and is usually reserved for the people your feline trusts the most.
However, if your cat does this often with prolonged head-pressing, it might be a sign that she’s in pain. If she’s been pressing her head against your furniture lately while making strange noises, visit the vet as soon as possible. It could be an indicator that your cat has an underlying medical issue.
Seeing two of your favorites share a special bond is definitely something you should be happy about. It means you chose the right person that your cat feels safe around, and it’s a big step in creating a harmonious home.
If your cat is more affectionate around your boyfriend than with you, it doesn’t make you a bad cat parent. And it certainly doesn’t mean your cat replaced you. It means you’ve created the small loving family you’ve always dreamed of. Enjoy every part of it!